Beyond the Warrior Within

    So here I am. Laying in bed another night. Probably drank far too much Coke by this point to want to fall asleep, though my body is screaming at me to pass out. I have to be up in seven hours to PT and then head to another day of class followed by field day (which is a mass barracks cleaning followed by an inspection). Needless to say, I should be in bed. Though…I don’t know for some reason I feel the need to start writing again, and there is no better time than the present.

Not much has changed in the past few months since I was last home. I’ve gotten bigger. I can run longer and I have the worst farmer’s tan anyone could imagine. I love it. I really loathe this place as a geographical location. Heck, I even dislike my school and instructors, my platoon members and roommates. Actually it would be quite hard to find something to smile about if I wasn’t me. The only thing that keeps me positive and smiling is well besides the fact I’m getting into shape, and I’m actually experiencing life away from the small town of Seymour (Which I love). Is the fact I feel God here. In this random desolate nothingness of desert I find peace. I even feel like I should have an uneasiness about me. I could go to war and die. I could lose touch with all my wonderful friends. I could get mugged out in town or killed. (Apparently, it happens alot. Two Marines got mugged and tossed in the desert the other day) I could just go into this state of depression and hate the next five years of my life, but none of that seems to be the case. I got some time to think today which is rare here with two roommates. Think about what I am into. To let the fact I am 3000 miles away from home sink in. And the fact, that I am a United States Marine, offering everything to serve this country. It’s hard to think a year ago I was heading to Temple. Going to get all educated and be a youth pastor. I thought about that calling today, maybe I wasn’t ready. Maybe this is what I needed.

The life out here isn’t for me. Drinking and strip clubs…Even drugs still. Yes, even in the Marine Corps people do drugs like its going out of style. Jesus is the punchline in a million jokes, not to mention, you here GD just about every ten seconds. “God doesn’t need a dam He can walk on water” can only deter so much. And its hard to witness to Marines all you get is ridicule and laughter. We had a convo the other day while out in town asking if we were going to go out and find some girls to have sex with. My only reply was ‘I’m not going to have sex’. You’d have thought by the silence afterwards I had peed on the stars and stripes.  Willis (Who I think is a cool guy) looks at me with , ‘What the eff Point…You don’t like sex. You gay or something?’

All I’m trying to get across is Christian support is lacking here. So any prayers would be greatly appreciated. I gues I should head to bed now. That is all I have on my mind for tonight. Minus the thoughts of love, but we will save that for tomorrow maybe.

Love to all
All for Him
<3
Zachary Piontkowski. Private USMC

Would I choose water over wine

So to fill everyone on the state I am in after a few months of training I guess I should make a post and try to get deep within how I think and where life is headed. Recruit training breaks you down in ways I’ve never thought possible. It rips my dependencies away. Every person I had to lean of for assistance, all the reliance I had on anyone else for support, all the acceptance I always fought so hard for, every bit of those things is torn away. There were two cornerstones for training in Third Battalion. The two words we lived by the two qualities we strived everyday to attain. Spirit and Discipline that and of course our Corps values of Honor, Courage, and Commitment. I think my father put it the best I’ve heard it. ‘Self-deprivation makes us humble’ Keeping my faith and growing in it was the easiest thing I’ve ever done. Though I may not show that in my past couple nights of celebratory drinking. During boot camp so much changed in the dependency I have in the world and the things only people can offer me. Love diminished in my thoughts. As crazy as it is I don’t want to be in a War time environment with a fiancee or wife back home to worry about. Any woman who wants to spend her life with me can wait five years until I’m done with combat tours and then we can begin a life.

I’ve talked to random people on the street a couple times since I’ve graduated. Apparently you can tell someone is a Marine I guess. All of them ask the same question…’Are you scared?’ the only feasable answer I can come up with is ‘No’ and follow that with ‘If I die its God’s Will’ I’ve never felt more on track with my life. I know I’m supposed to be where I am. It’s a wonderful thing. Boot camp fixed all the things that were holding me back. It ripped me of everything but God. Its the greatest thing I could ask for the only downfall being I’m hard now. Distant as it were. Knowing that I don’t have much time in Seymour. 7 days isn’t long and that could be all I have for a year or so. This would have killed me before boot camp…It was my worry then. Now, It doesn’t phase me. I just have faith that God’s Will be done and the people who do care truly will keep in touch.

I wrote that on boot leave. Back in April.