Beyond the Warrior Within

So to fill everyone on the state I am in after a few months of training I guess I should make a post and try to get deep within how I think and where life is headed. Recruit training breaks you down in ways I’ve never thought possible. It rips my dependencies away. Every person I had to lean of for assistance, all the reliance I had on anyone else for support, all the acceptance I always fought so hard for, every bit of those things is torn away. There were two cornerstones for training in Third Battalion. The two words we lived by the two qualities we strived everyday to attain. Spirit and Discipline that and of course our Corps values of Honor, Courage, and Commitment. I think my father put it the best I’ve heard it. ‘Self-deprivation makes us humble’ Keeping my faith and growing in it was the easiest thing I’ve ever done. Though I may not show that in my past couple nights of celebratory drinking. During boot camp so much changed in the dependency I have in the world and the things only people can offer me. Love diminished in my thoughts. As crazy as it is I don’t want to be in a War time environment with a fiancee or wife back home to worry about. Any woman who wants to spend her life with me can wait five years until I’m done with combat tours and then we can begin a life.

I’ve talked to random people on the street a couple times since I’ve graduated. Apparently you can tell someone is a Marine I guess. All of them ask the same question…’Are you scared?’ the only feasable answer I can come up with is ‘No’ and follow that with ‘If I die its God’s Will’ I’ve never felt more on track with my life. I know I’m supposed to be where I am. It’s a wonderful thing. Boot camp fixed all the things that were holding me back. It ripped me of everything but God. Its the greatest thing I could ask for the only downfall being I’m hard now. Distant as it were. Knowing that I don’t have much time in Seymour. 7 days isn’t long and that could be all I have for a year or so. This would have killed me before boot camp…It was my worry then. Now, It doesn’t phase me. I just have faith that God’s Will be done and the people who do care truly will keep in touch.

I wrote that on boot leave. Back in April.