Beyond the Warrior Within

I’ve been home a minute or two now, long enough to know my world outside the Corps is seeming to be in a large downward spiral. Maybe expectations were too high coming into this period of time home. Quite possibly my beliefs of how things would be were misconstrued. Though, once again the conclusion has appeared to be too much hope in the people of this world. Though, this is nothing new at all… those of you who have read my writings over the years know just how many times such has let me down. This time is a bit different though. After this long one would think those he still spoke to would be true to their words. That if someone would hold so tightly to one so far away that their motives would be pure. Possibly they began that way, but somewhere along the lines they became something different. It must be the old saying of people want what they can’t have. Perhaps, now that I am here something is less desirable about me. Maybe even that it would be easier to blow me off than someone you face everyday. Considering my presence here is short, your problems with me will be easy and short lived. Eventually, I will fade from existence in your life as opposed to someone you must see on the regular. Despite all these possibilities the question still remains of why. What I would give to know why it is so easy for people to just walk all over one another. Perhaps, I try too hard, or care too much. Regardless. I finally realize I do not belong.
‘With each sunrise I lose a bit of that hope I had in life. I don’t smile thinking of the future because I do not have one. I turn to no one with my problems because there is no one there who cares enough to inquire about them. I do not grow close because I know I will be let down. I let people use me for whatever they need me for in their life. And then die inside each time I realize how much every single person takes for granted everything they have. One day they will look back and regret what they had taken for granted. I want those people to know they killed everything that was me. And that once again the evil of men has destroyed the greatness of one. At the end of your lonely days who will you have to blame for your misfortune?’ I wrote that sometime ago. I should have heeded my own advice.

All for Him.
<3
Zachary Piontkowski, PFC USMC.

It’s not that I’m too trusting, just that I trust the wrong ones. I still have hope that there is good out there somewhere.

So, I’ve been home right at a week now. I cannot be happier, I forgot how beautiful my home was. For so long, that old familiarity that I’d been missing. Sleep here as of late is found easily and in a great fashion. Old friends haven’t skipped a beat in what is going on a year right now. Though, given some have stood me up once or twice, but that is expected. It’s easy to forget how important you are to people. Heh. (Sarcasm) I’m fully enjoying my time here and still having eighteen days is a major plus. Cannot wait to spend time with the family. Mainly, the days are filled with a ton of sitting around at home enjoying the accomplishment of what has occurred this past year. The only other thing is riding the motorcycle, which in other words is my only true addiction in life. To pass up a day with even the slightest ability to ride is utterly unspeakable. It just feels incredible… the opportunity to push oneself all the much farther. It’s like … following Christ. It takes an insane amount of faith. The only thing impeding the joy and fullness of your ride is you. The bike will always be able to provide what you need for any given turn or obstacle. All you need to do is have the knowledge and faith to execute properly. For many of you this is probably far outstretched but in this intricate and ridiculous mind of mine it makes perfect sense. One can come into a turn on fire running toward the great prize leaning full out the bike steady as always, but it feels too fast, something isn’t right, I need control, this isn’t my comfort area, I’m not ready, there in all these moments, you falter pulling out of the lean and back to your original heading. Content and upright just enjoying the ride…As long as it maintains this bearing. Your Walk isn’t always that straight little road that doesn’t challenge you there will be times when you have to lean full out and have Faith the Lord will guide you(Matthew 7:13-14). This all going back to the forever echoing point of the hardship of following Christ. Of taking up one’s own cross and losing one’s own life(Matthew 10:38).

It’s late. That made sense to me. It’s a bike rider thang.

All for Him.
<3
Zachary Piontkowski, PFC USMC.

Take a step outside the boundaries we live in.
Get to know yourself the real you, the real me.
Join the hands of faith that hold you, that know you.
Let the love go free it’s in us, it’s in me.

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS,
HE LIVED ALL ALONE,
IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE MADE OF
PLASTER AND STONE.

ONE LOOK AT MY WATCH,
AND I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT.
“MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIEND,
AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT.”